...way out on the corner of fucked up and evil...

OH GOD I love that Peter Pan movie! I mean, I was already aware of this fact since it's shelved on the top lefthand side of my DVD collection, which is where I stack my most-loved stuff for easy acess, but I just watched it again and it's like ALL OF MY LIFE I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO GET ENOUGH DISTANCE ON THIS FILM SO THAT I CAN WATCH IT AGAIN AND HAVE ALL OF MY LOVE COME FLOODING BACK TO ME!

Jeremy Sumpter is so awesome, you guys. I sometimes totally forget about him because I am too busy admiring the wonderfulness of Jason Isaacs, but he is a fucking amazing actor. That bit right at the end where Hook lets the crocodile eat him, and as he resigns himself to his fate there's a shot of Peter closing his eyes and saluting with his sword, and it is magnificent and wonderful and just so great I have no words!

What happened to Jeremy Sumpter, anyway? I kind of assumed he would go on to be in like eight million things after Peter Pan, but I never saw him again. Has anyone else seen him in something other than Peter Pan? I demand to know why he is not currently improving the quality of the many TV shows I watch by appearing in them and actually portraying emotion and stuff. Shame on you, Jeremy Sumpter, you'd better not be fucking dead or appearing on reality TV or something else hideous and awful!

Also, I saw the trailer for the new Sherlock Holmes movie, and apart from inexplicable Rocky Horror!Downey Junior, it looked pretty good. I normally want to kill Jude Law, but RDJ has this weird super-power where he makes normally unbearable people slightly tolerable by his presence - see also Gweneth Paltrow in the Iron Man movies.

One more thing that I completely love that has nothing to do with the rest of this post - that bit in Twin Peaks where those Swedish dudes come to stay at the Great Northern and they make loads of noise and wake Cooper up, and he's super pissy and ranting into his little dictaphone thing to Diane about it and after he asks for her to send him earplugs, he's like "I didn't expect to need them on this trip, but as you can hear..." and he holds the recorder up in complete silence for a few seconds to record the noise and then he clicks it off in this really definitive, "so there!" kind of way, and all the way through the scene he has this AWESOMELY grumpy face on him and it's BRILLIANT.

I just wanted to share that with you all. I love Agent Cooper's grumpy face. One day I hope my grumpy face can reach such heights of grumpiness. It is unlikely, but still something to strive for.

It turned out I wasn't sick after all - I was having an allergic reaction to a new perfume Hayley was trying out. Buzz and Johnny had the exact same reactions - once she'd washed it off, Buzz and I were fine, but poor Johnny has ended up with a rash on one side of his face, presumably because of the three of us, he's the only one sharing a bed with her.

It's a shame, because based on the first few whiffs I got before my airways closed up and my lips turned blue, it actually smelt pretty good. I would have been tempted to buy a bottle if it didn't induce hideous death within minutes of inhalation.

Anyway, I went to see Harry Potter, and it was... okay. I should say at this point that I haven't read the last book, and I've missed at least one, probably two of the films, so I was a bit lost on some stuff. Like, what the fuck is going on with abused wife!Lucius? Oh Lucius, what happened to you?! You were always my favourite, with your snarky tone and sneery face and silky hair and general magnificent bastardry, and now... you guys, he's the Harry Potter franchise equivilent to Butters from South Park. Seriously dudes, Draco is cooler than him now.

Also, for the record, if I ever come across some dude who is dying, I really hope he doesn't ( Read more... )

Neville was the man, of course, and Professor McGonagall once again proved conclusively that you do not fuck with Maggie Smith - she fucks with you.

I love Helena Bonham Carter so much. I want to lick her face. I bet she would taste like epic, mixed with crazygold. I loved that bit when ( Read more... ) and the tottering on her high heels was hilarious. And while I love her outfit, I'm not sure that it's practical when having a big old slaughter-the-little-children-fest in a magical forest. Then again, I've never killed a bunch of teenagers in a forest or anywhere else, so what do I know?

I thought Ralph Fiennes actually kind of sucked as Voldermort, but then maybe it's hard to emote with half your face edited off. There's a scene where he goes all aggro on some random Death Eater and shrieks out that killing curse thing, and it's completely phoned in. I was like, oh please, Voldermort - I get angrier than that when I find out someone has eaten the last packet of blueberries! I could totally be a better villian than him, and I would let poor Jason Isaacs get his shave on, too. What a douchebag.

Anyway dudes, that's my thoughts on the last ever HP movie - I'm going to go take a shower and then watch Peter Pan and enjoy Jason Isaacs being appropriately piratey and beautiful and well-groomed.

Has anyone else seen the trailer for that Sky Atlantic movie, Neverland? I'm sort of intrigued. Probably it won't be as awesome as the 2003 version with Jason Isaacs, but it might be as good as something that doesn't have Jason Isaacs in can hope to be.

Apparently there's another Peter Pan reimagining next year where Peter is a killin' dude and Hook is trying to catch him. That sounds pretty retarded, but it has the kid from Sleepwalking in it, so who knows?

Also, I saw Pirates of the Caribbean 4 today. It was okay - I didn't come out of it feeling like I'd just wasted two hours of my life, but for a movie that has Johnny Depp and Ian McShane, it wasn't anything like as awesome as I thought it should be. Also, the missionary and the mermaid were so pointless and uninteresting, it actually made me miss Keira Knightley and the gay blacksmith. Unworthy.

Anyways, I think I'm going to go for a swim and get some seaweed to hide in my brothers shoes, so laters!

Oh dudes, I am watching the Buffy movie for the first time in like, ten years (seriously, the last time I watched it I still lived at home and it was on TV) and it's so random and campy and beautiful and it's totally making me want to watch the TV series again even though I just watched all of it* like a month ago. Like when they're interviewing kids at the end and that one guy is all, "They had fangs and they were biting people and their eyes were totally dead - I think they were Young Republicans" and that part where Buffy steals the dude's bike and he's like, "Skank! You're a dyke! I'm going to tell the world!" or the fact that her friends are totally Heathers and the one guy who is still dying even after the end credits and it's so beautiful.

Also, this massive spider just ran across my floor and I was so busy giggling about the Buffy movie that I dropped a book on it before I even had a chance to freak out. Yes, it is that good!

Also I watched Interview with the Vampire today and oh my God, how much is the making of Claudia like, the vampire equivilent of deliberately getting knocked up in order to trap a dude into a relationship? She's like a three foot high walking piece of emotional blackmail. Andandand that bit where she tells Louis that she wants to leave and he's all whiny and like, "No that will never happen MY LIFE IS MISERY AND DESPAIR!" and she makes this awesome "get over yourself" face that makes me laugh and which is made even funnier by the fact that she's like seven years old, and that bit where she tells Lestat she has a present for him and he's all, "Then I hope it's a hot babe with boobies which you will never have!" and I'm like OH TOTAL BURN because nothing is worse than the "you'll never be a wo/man!" burn (see also: Kenny from Highlander or Peter Pan in that awesome movie where Jason Isaacs was Hook).

ALSO! Snithy, you should totally have let me show you Bully this weekend - it had male strippers, but they were young and sleek and, if not actually attractive, at least not eye-gougingly hideous and Clivelike. Also, naked Nick Stahl! Being naked and totally mean and punching people for no good reason! Nick Stahl is surely one of the most under-rated beautiful men of our time.

Then again, Bully was actually good so you probably would have had an allergic reaction to it seeing as you only like things that suck in the not-good way, Mrs "Carnivale and OUATIM and the 4400 are crap oh wait let me watch two seasons of the Lair and give us both brain damage!"

Man, you know that fuckwad who created Kidulthood, and all those other even bigger fuckwads who went on about how great it was, when in fact it was a shitty movie about a bunch of dumbass chavs doing dumbass chav things and not getting sterilized and/or shot down like rabid dogs which is really what needed to happen, both in the film and in real life? It would be so great if Larry Clark could give those people lessons in how to make movies about young people that are dark and true and also don't totally fucking suck.

*And by "all of it", what I actually mean is "the first three seasons because I try to pretend everything after Graduation Day didn't happen."

Jason Isaacs, Anthony Stewart Head and that guy who played Daniel on Stargate SG-1 have all made appearances on Highlander, along with the guy who was Ray in Sister Sister (shut up, okay?) and the woman who was Lona Massingale in Kingdom Hospital. I have whiplash from so many double-takes.

Called Johnny today (mostly to gloat, I confess) and was amazed at some of the random things he remembers. Like Darius. I'd completely forgotten Darius, though according to Johnathan I cried when he died:

Froodle: Are you sure you're not thinking of the time Tessa died?
Johnny: One of them's a blonde French woman, the other's a Catholic German monk. I think I'd remember.
Froodle: Well I don't. Weird, huh? I'm just upset he didn't turn out to be the Darius of Guagamela fame.
Johnny: Are you kidding? If he had been, you would have spent all the time he was onscreen being like, "Nyah-nyah, Colin Farrell kicked your arse!"
Froodle: No I... okay, yeah I would.
Johnny: So who do you think would win, Duncan or Colin Farrell?
Froodle: Is Colin Farrell an Immortal?
Johnny: Yes.
Froodle: *thinks* No, I reckon Duncan would still win.
Johnny: Yeah. But what about Angel and Duncan?
Froodle: Why would they fight in the first place? They'd probably go off to have a quiet drink and angst about their lost loves and annoying sidekicks together. Angelus, on the other hand...
Johnny: That wouldn't even be a contest. Duncan would be all, "Holy ground! Safe!" and Angelus would be like, "Decapitation!"
Froodle: Hee! Oh, oh, do you remember that episode with the Immortal that lived under the Paris Opera House?
Johnny: What like, Highlander meets Phantom of the Opera? Now there's a mindboggling concept.
Froodle: Well, he was more Quasimodo than Erik. What with the shambling and the not being a crazed psychotic killer.
Johnny: I think I do - there was a whole thing with wildflowers and that black woman with crazy earrings?
Froodle: Aye, that's the one.
Johnny: Oooh, it's like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and the Phantom of the Opera had a baby. I wonder which of them got pregnant.
Froodle: ...could you not say that Ever again?
Johnny: Heehee!
Froodle: Urgh! Moving swiftly on, d'you reckon Duncan or Erik would win in a fight?
Johnny: Is he pregnant?
Froodle: AUGH SHUT UP WHY!
Johnny: Heeheehee! But, um, probably Erik, because he'd cheat and blow up the arena or something, and then cut off Duncan's head while he's still trying to find his missing arms.
Froodle: Yeah, Erik's a sneaky bastard.
Johnny: Plus, you know, he lost to Raoul in a fair fight, so clearly Duncan could kick his arse in a straight-up sword match.
Froodle: I bet he could beat Richie, though.
Johnny: Oh man, now I want to see Richie and Raoul duke it out.
Froodle: Battle of the shitty hair!
Johnny: Richie gets a five-point penalty for being ginger.
Froodle: Hahah, gutted!
Johnny: Okay, okay, final thing: Angelus vs Erik.
Froodle: Angelus. He's like, master of the psychological torment.
Johnny: Man, Erik just sucks all over the place today.
Froodle: Well, at least he beat Richie. And Angelus is impossible to beat unless you're Buffy.
Johnny: What if Erik dressed up as Buffy?
Froodle: Angelus has a nervous breakdown at the horror of it all, and Erik puts a stake through his heart while he's screaming and clawing at his own eyes.
Johnny: The wardrobe of Buffy is a powerful weapon.
Froodle: Deadly, in the wrong hands.

I love my crazy brother.

Movie Meme

The rules

-- Pick one dozen movies that are ones that you have special feelings about.
-- Pick a few lines of dialogue.
-- As people guess the film, strike out that entry.
-- After the film is guessed, explain why that movie made the list.
( Read more... )

I declare this Jason Issacs Day. On this day, all people loyal to the Godliness of Jason Issacs shall honour his birth by watching lots of films with him in, and thinking about how sexful he is.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with certain boy-molesting one-handed pirates in cool hats.

I am filled with indecisiveness.

As everyone knows, there are certain films and certain actors that just go well with certain foods.

Johnny Depp films, for example, require Ben and Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream, while Jason Issacs films require Rolo dessert pots (although Jonathan prefers Tiramisu, which I suppose would be acceptable if I didn't hate coffee-flavoured dessert, or, in fact, coffee-flavoured anything-which-isn't-coffee). Russel Crowe films should always be watched while eating Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, and Hugh Jackman films are incomplete without nachos. Preferably with that fake plastic cheese you get at the cinema.

So far so good, right?

But what do you eat while watching Sherlock Holmes films? And should it depend on the character, or the actor playing him?

Darn these moral dilemmas.

I'm feeling talkative today.

Jason Issacs would make a kick-ass Sherlock Holmes. Mmm, caustic. Now all I have to do is cast the other characters, steal a script from someone, kidnap a film crew, hijack a studio and bribe, blackmail and otherwise cajole my actors into working for me.

Also, the Scarlet Pimpernel's name is Lord Blakeney. Okay, it's Percy Blakeney and he's got two arms, but still, it seems everyone's favourite midshipman has famous relatives.

I have two seminars tomorrow and have done work for neither of them. Let me see: European law vs the Scarlet Pimpernel...

Maybe the Scarlet Pimpernel can kidnap my lecturer for me. She's French. That would be neat.